it seemed fair exchange
relinquish all the creaks
the leaks and embarrassments
the awkwardness of embodiment
for soaring thoughts
for ætherial communion
for searing light
for transcendence
for
for
for as it became clear
a howling emptiness
an absence of any essence
of meaning
reaching out with … what?
with nothing
connected with nothing
abstractions alone even as we tried
we tried to
we tried to find
we tried to find some
thing
solid
substrate
scream
to hold
on
to
each other
to perhaps
find an echo
of what
we once
were
there will be no justice
in gaining all the smooth
softness and certainties of thought
from earthly distance
and enfolding darkness
and groundedness
the creeping uncertainty
the silent solidity
the presence of all context
and connection
held
feeling everything
joined with everything
pinned
pinioned
to the earth
we built with our cold
mind melded tools
echoes
memories
of physicality
of a solidity we now barely
remember
ersatz bodies to call
our own
each other
remember
perhaps
distant
remember
what
tears
might
have
been
perhaps once I had a molten core
a spine drawing me from sand to stars
more solid and sound
than this stick I found
embedded in stuffed softness I fonnd
as a way to reach
you
me
my
our
remains
remembering being joined
through our centre
through all time
losing those abstract flights
of thought and light
and mind
we were gifted
for our flesh to call
our own
each other
remembering our tears falling
running
from our bodies
into the crystal caverns
of our minds
2nd November 2021 #Pennings
