undertow
Echoes, memories, of pain and
disconnection
of alone
of finding ways of coping and, survival
that worked
but were
barely
better than perilously close to
not… Full stop.
Tendrils of skewed memory
tempting
pain switched off
an echo of past relief
of not feeling
anything
at
all.
Done the work
long years emerging
raw visibility
exposed accepting
inevitability of pain pain pain pain joy pain joy?
Numb
is
easy
one
pill
one drink
one more
more
(fun)
oblivion
sucked back down
fighting the undertow
a daily
choice
made
of life
of breath
of death
of life
30th June 2025